FENNEL

This is FENNEL. I know what you’re thinking. Fennel is undoubtedly gay. But it’s not so easy to judge the homosexual (male) qualities of fennel.

LaRousse Gastronomique describes fennel this way:

FENNEL. Fenouil—An aromatic flowering umbelliferous plant of Italian origin which is now widely cultivated. It has a slight flavour of aniseed.

It is true that delightful dishes such as “Orange and Fennel Salad” from Cucina Fresca by Evan Kleinman and Viana La Place are  unanimously considered homosexual. The recipe calls for 3 large navel oranges (or PINK grapeFRUIT), 2 medium fennel bulbs, 3 tablespoons FRUITY olive oil, course sea salt and freshly ground pepper. The homosexual possibilities of fennel reveal themselves explicitly in the text.

Yet fennel routinely makes its subtle presence known in Italian pasta sauces. You’ll frequently see it roasted with onions, combined with sausage, and other meat sauces. And as we all know, it doesn’t get more heterosexual (male) than that.

ARUGULA

This is ARUGULA. It is the most homosexual of all the leafy greens. It is soft to the touch, with a bright green color and even though it is not a lily looks a bit like a fleur-de-lis. Fleur-de-lis is French, which is the most homosexual of languages and perhaps this has something to do with arugula’s gay reputation.

In other countries, arugula is known as ROCKET or ROQUETTE (see French). LaRousse Gastronomique describes arugula this way:

ROCKET (CRESS). Roquette—Strong smelling plant with sharp and piquant flavour. Its leaves are smooth and glabrous, the flowers white or pale yellow and it grows wild in the fields. It is used as seasoning in salads.

Despite its strong, sharp flavor, arugula in American mainstream media is portrayed as effete. President Obama was tainted by the emasculating aura of arugula on the campaign trail in 2007 when he complained about the rising price of arugula. (Clinton had his own radicchio debacle, which will be discussed in a later post.) This wasn’t a deathblow to the candidate. Currently, Michelle Obama grows arugula in the White House organic garden.